how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
Could you please tell them to stop whispering "thundercunt" every time I walk in the room?
If I don't wake up hungover in a ditch Monday morning I will consider my halloween a failure
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
I have the money I owe you for auctioning off your black thongs. Best 30 bucks ever spent
It's like he's trying to get head in every car except his.
Well he has a girlfriend. So I told him that I wanted to have sex way more than I wanted to be a decent human being.
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
I think I accidentally invented a religion.
We have hung out 5 times and only had sex 3 of those times. I'd call that friendship
I did a trust fall off the bar and then almost got into a knife fight over a push up competition. Just another Tuesday.
I just asked my mom if I could be the drunk realitive at the reunion. She said as long as I'm not obvious.
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
Yeah. 11 people shoved in a clown car for a 1 hour party. I'm too old for house parties.
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
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