I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
Now that the olympics are over we have no excuse for getting belligerently drunk for nationalism every night.
so why was i the only one who woke up with ham stuck to my ass?
Duuuude. Everything is so brilliant right now. This frosting is freaking orgasmic.
It's vanilla, man. Accept no substitutes. There are so many t's in that word.
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
there's a strong possibility i came on your eyeliner last night bathroom sex was unplanned and rather messy sorry
I should start prefacing bondage with girls saying "I know you've read 50 Shades, but there is a 33% you're gonna freakout and go home, while I jerk it alone"
The lady at walmart just said she is so happy im still alive....Was i that drunk on the 4th? Dont answer that
I feel like it could help stop wars and begin world peace and the continents can unite for one Monday because chicken fries come back today
He didn't even get to the first chorus of Hotel California before he started convulsing on top of me.
Randomize
