If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
I need someone to get my backpack from the bar before class tomorrow. I have to give my students their papers back.
I asked you how much you drank and you replied with "I don't know what kind of toothpaste I use."
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
I tried to bribe him with road head and his toothbrush.
I wonder when walk of shame thursdays in the rain will finally make me stop drinking.
We were pulling the glow sticks off of him and he just kept yelling, "my bones! You're taking my bones!" and asking me if I was on the crew team
My life has come to reading articles about dating an ex heroin addict. I'm doing well.
didn't prepare for this snow storm at all. i only have like 6 beer and all my booty calls already went home for the holiday. this is bull.
you said, 'he held out his hand, that means we don't have to pay' about the taxi driver, and then asked the doorman what happened to your pants...
I spent the whole ride asking the cabbie if people ever have sex back there, and if he wanted me to make that number one higher.
What even was the context for that. All I have written down is "I would vote for President SnakeJaw."
it was all good until mid make out when he announced 'i just came'. ...he wasn't joking.
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