I was in the bathroom and her cat just looked at my penis with a profound hatred.
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
Looks like a significant portion of my drinking money just became legal fees.
Side note: THE ORIGINAL LION KING IS COMING THE MOVIES AGAIN--3D STYLE. We need to find shrooms.
Last night I was this close to hooking up with someone called "Handjob Pat" dubbed for the time he paid $150 for a handjob in Canada.
I'm wearing green eyeshadow so even if I end up totally naked I still won't get pinched.
This is the Taco Bell dump we've all been waiting for.
....she made me stop for like 3 minutes so she could talk to her cat....
He told me I was "too flexible." Excuse me?
She said "I feel like I haven't reached my full potential" and I couldn't figure if she meant in life or with the weed..
When I was sick she came over with Call of Duty, animal crackers and a handjob. Honor says I can't dump her until Easter
Wait is this place where the strippers are missing teeth and I think one is missing a thumb? Though I don't know how she would maneuver on the pole without a thumb. Pls advise.
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
She put her coat on went to leave and called me an asshole. I responded with "I never said I wasn't" and then she pounced on me like a cat on cat nip.
Randomize