By the way the fattest man alive got married yesterday and I don't even have a boyfriend.
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE.
Got a blowie from her in the cab on the way home. Made awkward eye contact with the cabbie who said, and I quote "Keep the mess in her mouth bro", I did so only out of respect
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
Article 1, law 1, section 1 of the apartment 25 party handbook: tarp will be purchased prior to any and all future parties. Aforementioned tarp will be placed on floor. Any and all sick patrons must relocate to tarp preceding the event of expulsion of bodily fluids. Failure to do so will result in ejection of guilty patron and banishment of the accused from succeeding party. All patrons must read and sign a copy before entry is granted.
he stopped during sex, told me i smelled like McDonald's and went harder..
I feel like someone kicked me repeatedly in the ribs. I don't think sex is supposed to do that.
Not sure how ur night is going, but unless u also saw a naked drunk chick pissing outside i doubt it can top mine
if Anne Taylor knew what she did in her clothes, she'd be banned from the store.
oh come on, it's the perfect length summer dress to blow a stranger in the bathroom in
Oh ya, I forgot to tell you, last night I woke up to the sound of you peeing on the floor next to the fridge, didn't remember until now. Have fun at Dayton!
I am one with the molecules
DID YOU OR DID YOU NOT, PEE IN MY FUCKING TRASHCAN?!
I teamed up with my vagina. I compromised his morals and then she corrupted him for good. It’s been a very successful and slutty partnership
Randomize
