They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
She went dumpster diving. Found flourescent light bulbs, carpet samples and $15. We got a bottle of Popov, played star wars and threatened random people with the carpet. Get on our level.
Hey fuck you and your taint. I'm just riding a canoe called life, back the fuck off. P.s. I need a ride
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
We could all 3 jump out of a cake in just tophats. A true marble cake.
In the last 3 months, I've slept with an ex,someone single, someone in a relationship, someone married, and someone divorced. I should get some type of grown up girl scouts badge.
I think he's holding my wallet hostage because I puked in his car. It's not my fault he has child locks on his windows..
You could woo kevin with a boquet of breakfast burritos. He loves those burritos. You could use the hot sauce packets like babies breathe
Hung out near hay bales in sweaters then she gave me a pumpkin spice pop rocks bj. That was so freakin' seasonal.
Can you come unlock the door? I just peed myself on the porch.
I see myself subsisting on tequila for the next several days.
If we hadn't just agreed to no commitment, i'd totally propose right now. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER, CAITLIN. MY PARENTS ARE FUCKING. LOUDLY.
i need to get crying drunk at the bar more often. i end up going home with guys who have big penises. its like God is saying "there, there, this will cheer you up".
Randomize
