I'm drunk at a fancy martini bar, wearing jeans, drinking cheap vodka that I brought in my purse. Got thrown out of court for using my cell phone. All in all calling Thursday a success.
i just spit dirty mouth water on my dentist. and apparently grinning sheepishly and saying "my b" doesn't make it better
I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
You kept spitting the skittles out cause you said they tasted like "balls of sandpaper"
Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
He's engaged. If the world's smallest penis can find true love than I can too.
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
It's been two days. My balls feel like watermelons.
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
he keeps various drugs in his kitchen cupboard like groceries. that is my new life goal as an adult.
Moral of the story: next time my plans include you and bourbon, I'm packing a toothbrush.
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
He's nice and all but I think I rather masturbate my way to happiness instead.
Don't worry. I have logic.... just not morals.
Randomize