people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
My itunes is telling me i listened to toxic by b spears 108 times last night
While he was going down his phone rang and he answered saying I'll call you later I'm eating.
also, I just found three random bruises on my knee. probably from when I was velcrod to the stairs
Sorry I sent so many blank messages. My hands are slippery. Don't ask why.
4 months of living in europe has taught me the art of making a drunken stumble look like a dance move
I am listening to lecture and I can hear us in the background talking about anal beads.
I woke up on your bathroom floor, i used your towel I found laying on the floor as a cape to get to your bed. I thought it would help me walk straight if I looked like a superhero
I don't like him near enough to give up day drinking AND my prostitute costume
Ugh I can't even look at alcohol this weekend, my body needs to heal.
I threw up off of your balcony and it must have been loud because the dog downstairs went insane.
When I woke up next to him on the living room floor, my glasses were broken and it felt like someone rubbed a cactus all over my vag
Somehow my family started talking about sex toys at breakfast.
Last night I ate a candle out of a strippers ass.... I guess it was an okay night.
Randomize
