I seriously love my fucking boobs. They are so boobs.
call of duty 2 was the straight man's twilight
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
I swear to god he's a one man village people.
As long as you're naked and covered in glow paint, I'm there.
Definitely worth waiting her kid to got to sleep when the first thing you hear once she's back is "I want you in my ass right now"
yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour.
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
I'm sad that I feel like I need to temporarily change your name in my phone from Smashley until you have the baby and can be unsober with us again.
I just haymakered a dude with my face, can we talk about ME for a second and not the guy I fought?
Red Alert: She has 3 cats, a parrot, and 2 rats. Initiate Protocol Zero and rendezvous at Checkpoint Bravo for debriefing
Apparently mid making out I got up and said "I need to figure out my life" went in the bathroom and threw up for two hours.
We keep making plans but he keeps getting arrested. Such a tease
Going to the eye doctors drunk makes you feel like your doing a sobriety test! They have to know..
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
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