I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
just woke up and he was jacking off in the corner.. am i being punked?
I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
I would give up sex for lent, but I think Jesus would understand that I went too long without it to go back now.
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
Tell her you can forgive her unacceptable behavior because her dad and his dog weren't married when they conceived her.
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
I threw a jar of pickles out the window at a police car, why was that not a good enough reason to put me to bed?
This bitch flirting at the bar needs to close her legs and open up a book. I can literally feel my IQ dropping every time she bends down to show her tits.
Jealous?
Very.
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
I honestly feel really bad for any girl with a period that lasts more than a day
Everything about that text makes me want to throttle you and cry
Do you remember biting my ear and whispering quotes of Pride and Prejudice last night?
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
Mom is so high she had to turn off the ceiling fan because it was going too fast and it freaked her out.
I almost just opened my door to get my pizza butt ass naked
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