DUDE. I'm missing my big toenail. My bed has blood all over it. WHAT DID WE DO LAST NIGHT?
I don't know, but I chipped my tooth and I'm wearing different underwear.
Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
his dog just threw up on me too. its like im a throwup magnet to that family.
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
After giving a back rub to someone in the bathroom of the theater, he ripped an "employees must wash hands" sign off the wall to prove that he could and proceeded to hang it up in his house.
I walk in and my roomie is fucking her bf while wearing lingerie and minnie mouse ears. Right in the childhood.
Start warming up your vocal cords, because Fucking With The Windows Open season has arrived.
She deliberately backed into the homewrecker's whoremobile and yelled ""FOR SPARTA!"
I just hip-checked Santa and stole his cab.
Last night I was the DD and was trying to drop off some chick I didn't know at her place. The closest thing to an address I got was "where the goldfish go."
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
That ass isn’t going to eat itself.
I don't want to go to sleep. I like partying with myself.
He is farting the alphabet right now. In the goddamned restaurant. You don't get to recommend men anymore. Or restaurants for that matter.
Randomize
