Also thongs make me have to fart a lot.
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
Based on how hungover I feel today, it makes more sense that the bouncer didn't let me in to that bar.
Lost another pound. Switching from beer to hard liquor did this body good.
I had to assert my dominance as Alpha Drunk.
Let me be the 15% helpful, 85% useless as shit angel on your shoulder.
I'll just put on a bunch of mascara and cry right before I get there. Then everyone will recognize me.
This isn't just a hangover. I can feel the blood moving through my veins, and it hurts.
His whole street is under construction. Third walk of shame this week & I'm getting a lot of sympathetic nods from the workers.
I'm pretty sure I just orgasmned my way out of paying for that weed
Dude, I got drunk and sexted his little sister by accident
Haha I wasn't coming anyway. I'm watching Snow White and don't want to put pants back on. Those are completely unrelated. Have a good night.
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
Want to help me interview candidates to replace my Cub/Boy Toy when he leaves for grad school next month?
Randomize
