Most fantastic sex ever until her Doberman took an interest in what we were doing. There was nothing more terrifying then feeling warm dog breath on my ballsack.
In a tragic sexting typo, I typed the word "blobjob". Now she's coming over and I have no idea what I'm in for...
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
I need you to send me a picture of your dick. I want to forward it to that girl and you and i both know you're more impressively sized
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
then he compared my vagina to a dishwasher. A DISHWASHER?!
Her legal name is Candy. Her being a whore is implied.
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
Alright, who started the "how long till dereck gets deported from Australia" pool? I want in on that.
We held a candle light vigil outside the jail hoping for her release, until we realized we were drunk in the jail parking lot.
I can't find a song to express how gay I'm feeling.
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
Will you remind me I changed my hotspot phone password to fuckyouprivilegedwhitedude
I ACCIDENTALLY SUPER LIKED HIM. I JUST DELETED TINDER FROM MY PHONE.
So I decided to sleep with him for the first time in months so I can convince him it's his kid instead of the other guy
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