I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
dude my grandmas the shit. she has a sixth grade education and got hit by a car when she was 18. she cant smell.
I need hand sanitizer and jesus.
I just convinced a girl to drink my spit cup cuz I said it was dark beer and would get her drunk faster. I dare you to try something better.
im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
I'm really hoping to find some quality strange ass tonight while at my court appearance.
If you end up at a gay bar on a tuesday night in steelers pjs, does that mean youve hit rock bottom?
YOU COME FROM SAD WHALE FAMILY, DEEP IN OCEAN!
Whoever owns the butter that i always steal out of the office fridge definitely put THC butter in there this time. Shit just got real.
i wasnt laughing because you were puking, i was laughing because three yards away there was a couple seriously getting it on
continuing my moment killer tradition in the best possible way
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
I have an aggressive hickey on my shoulder and it actually hurts.
It just makes sense. It's like I end a relationship, and wash myself of sin... with tequila.
Who in their right mind would frost a cake with their butt?
Ben Franklin would totally be a furry.
You're smoking weed and checking Tumblr I take it?
Randomize
