I don't give a shit about soccer but I'm really excited about drinking at 7 in the morning
Watching that soccer game was like getting kicked in the crotch for an hour and half and then coming right at the end.
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
Why did you leave me a note saying 'find the canary'
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
Reunion weekend was a success. Had 3 ex's inside my vag. Hat trick!
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
You're dating a nurse! That's smart, you never know when you'll have a medical emergency. Probably liver failure.
I found an inside smoking lounge. I'll be here for the next 4 hours. A nice old Canadian lady has befriended me and let me use her lighter. Fuck Hartsfield-Jackson AND this layover. I win.
Chris used to fill up a Camel Back for thirsty Thursday. God I really miss him, do you remember when he gets out of jail?
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
Dashing through the vodka, in a tinder swiping rage, all the fuck boys get a no, laughing all the way.
I'm studying. I have a really exciting life lol
It's hard to say that sarcastically after having sex in a movie theater
So it turns out high me is very efficient. I set 5 alarms to remind me to do things, i made mac and cheese, and i wrote a poem. I'm going places.
Last night was fun. Sorry I slipped out before you woke up
Also, your parents get up REALLY early. Please thank them for the bagel and travel mug of coffee. Happy Thanksgiving!
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