I want 2 things right now, you or a cig
cig
He was drunk at Denny's at 5 am saying how Dear John was the worst movie he has ever seen... eyes filled with tears.
Okay. I really need to get out of this guys bed and get home. It's two in the afternoon. He's not even HERE.
Honey, I don't care how "classic you" this is. It's not gonna matter if we can't find you in the morning.
You're fine
I'm hiding in my chest because my walls smell weird. I'm not fine.
Tonight, a friend walked in and said "oh look at that. Drunk on the living room floor. Just as expected." this is my life. This is my life.
You know what's even more awkward then buying plan b from someone who is a member at the gym you work at... When they come in after that day and have that look of recognition
It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways
so just a regular conversation then
When he's drowning in your chest and he muffles out the words 'I just want to live here' that's a compliment right?
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
It's Friday you fucking nerd of course I'm drunk.
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
I think I am just gonna marry that lesbian. She is more of a respectful gentleman than any of the guys I've slept with.
He has to be employed and covid free. That’s my standard. I can’t be picky. 2020 has killed my sex life.
Randomize
