he said my vag tasted like ravioli n pennies... i forgot I was on my period
I woke up at 2 in my clothes with a defrosted steak in my pocket, no drinky this week at all.
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like having to pee in a condom for my cousin so that he can pass a drug test.
I just got my poem back from the prof, there's a sticker of a girraffe on it and it says "you're awesome!" ... How can this even be considered real college?!?
We're cuddling on the couch that me and his brother had sex on...this feels wrong
we tried to steal a tractor last night. you should have come out.
I've been timing it. He's been showering alone for 33 minutes. 4 minutes ago, he said "truth or dare." haven't heard anything since.
What's the politically correct way of saying you've made someone your bitch?
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
dude throwing a golf cart off a pier is harder than it seems!
Just saw a guy I fucked in a clown suit in the bar. It's not Halloween. I have got to start making better life decisions.
URGENT INPUT I'm at a renesance fair after party and I'm 100% lined up to fuck their sword swallower OR their contortionist. Dont say both - which direction doth I roll?
I should come with a warning like "do not feed me tequila or cocaine, I will ruin the party and cry"
HE LITERALLY JUST PEED IN MY ROOM IDK WHAT TO DO HELP
If my vagina were a person, it just ran a marathon.
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