dibs on John Mayer's hood pass
This girl brought half a watermelon to class. I want to be on her level.
He came over while I was in the ER and hung pictures of himself around my house.
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
We sent off fireworks off in the taco bell drive through. They're taking it way too seriously.
I can taunt you with whatever I want. Like batman and sex.
Here's the level of my committment: I'm not participating in the Olympic opening ceremonies drinking game. THIS IS SERIOUS.
Hows the party lookin?
At a live sex show right now. Not sure about the employee party
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
Say what you will, but only I can throw up on someone's door and make it look like art.
That's the last time I'm letting you drink that apple vodka
Can I tell you that I just incorporated the spice girls in my sexting and you not judge me
I can't remember if I puked before or after the shots of absinthe. Or why I thought shots of absinthe was a good idea.
My boobs keep hanging out of this shirt. I think thats the style I'm going for tonight
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