Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
I need to just get drunk and eat a pot pie.
Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
The sex toys I ordered are being shipped to my billing address instead of shipping address. Take a guess where they're on their way to right now - my parents' house. And the package has to be signed for so there's no way around it. Fuck.
White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
someone wrote on his wall: "congrats on your engagement"
I think you may want to look into that...
Also I legit had a girl at my bar crying tonight saying to her friend "why did he have to take his top off ?"
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
A man and his most likely hooker just bought us Taco Bell.
Dude I broke her toilet blowing some dude. I wasn't going to turn down the 300$ he offered to fix it.
Seriously, fuck work.
uh yea I'm curled up in the trunk of my car
its like my brain is a tree and you are those little cookie elves
I think everyone at the office can tell I'm dehydrated
you mean still drunk
I've heard it both ways
This morning we had sex while he was wearing a full length fur jacket and sunglasses... I wasn't even phased
Randomize
