you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
just checked my call log and realized that we talked for 3 mns. what did i say for that long?
pretty standard. you have fun last night?
apparently....what exactly does 'pretty standard' mean?
typical hot then cold, followed by a death threat.
Mmmm, vodka for breakfast
i awoke yet another morning with penis breath. ive been so generous santa has to bring me a shit ton of presents
i told her my name was noah and she leans in and whispers "that makes me so wet." ive never been more thankful for the Notebook
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
I tried really hard to get you laid last night. And by that I mean I asked a bunch of dudes if they were top or bottom.
because drunk making out is frowned upon in museums i think
They sent me to the hospital. Apparently, of the many things I said, I looked at the doctor and told him, "Wow... it's like you're a REAL DOCTOR!"
Happy 420. I woke up to a girl smoking weed and dragging me out of bed. Chemistry makes so much sense high.
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
I have a lot of money, and no morals. shots on you when you get here.
I'm sorry I get my lefts and rights confused because I'm dyslexic. But, it took you at least 15 minutes to figure out it wasn't your room OR YOUR HUSBAND.
Randomize
