you got in your car and made the sounds of a NASCAR, then called me on your phone and I was your pit crew. then you apparently you won the race, and THAT'S when you tried to backflip off the top of your car.
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
There are parrots here and they're headbanging to the music. There's also a clown and a pit bull that can jump onto tables. Too high for this shit.
It was like bizarre-o star trek. I shamefully went where every man has gone before.
She's trying to put on her dog muzzle on her self
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
I WAS JUST SITTING HERE BEING SNIFFED BY ODD WOMEN FOR A SOLID 5 MINUTES. My face was a twist of utter fear and confusion...
There's glitter in my speakers, piles of cheezits on the floor, a random Audi in the driveway and a homeless dude napping in a lawn chair in the backyard. Wtf happened last night?
Who the fuck watches Jessica jones and thinks I need to call a past fling?
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
I knew it was all downhill from there when the straight vodka I was drinking tasted like water.
He was gone for 5 minutes, opened the car door and said, "Don't eat my shit." and dropped Chipotle on the passenger seat. He was gone for another 10 minutes and came back with Coldstone. That stoned.
Answered a bio test question bc of watching phineas and ferb. Remind me to always drink when studying.
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
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