the family i'm sitting with looks like the Addams family. Except for the daughter...she looks like Shrek
dude, best porn name ever, "the Hunt for Red Cocktober"
He saw my tits then looked up and yelled thank you jesus as loud as he could
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
He left an unopened 12 pack of beer by my bed. I guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex..
I just want you to know if you wake up tomorrow morning and wreak of mustard, I was not involved.
I wish Samuel L. Jackson would narrate our bar crawls
Because of his penis, I can't even look at a hot dog
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
Major win last night. I traded my roommate two cigs for a six pack and a bag of beef jerky. This has been a Brian weekend update
Sorry, fell into some ass. Call you tomorrow.
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
He said 'I really struggle with the sin of lust' then we proceeded to have sex. So I guess it was a perfectly executed Catholic pick up line?
For a second I thought he was going to give me an intervention
You can't give interventions in a bar!
Randomize
