He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
why did they invent bidet's? your butt gets clean when your poop falls in the toilet and splashes up anyway...
don't worry about the neighbors I'm like 99% sure all that snow covered a good portion of our vomit
I couldnt decide if i wanted to pee first or vomit. So i Peed sideways while throwing up into the tub.
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
I just want him to slap me with his dick and call it love
Suuuuuuper drunk and just sang fuck her gently to the chiminea. I'm in bad shape.
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
Call me as soon as you're able to dial a phone. I just took a shit behind a building in broad daylight and need to get the fuck outta here soon.
Yeah. It's a great diet plan tho. Just have sex every time you get hungry.
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
Cut a hole in the crotch of my onesie so we could have sex without me getting cold. Best decision of my life.
I'm gonna eat you out with that hat on so it looks like beaker's doing it. And I'm gonna go "memememememe"
I would use the term shit faced but I'm too polite for that
scotch tastings during the week is a baaad idea. i woke up w no pants but wearing my winter coat
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