Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
I vaguely remember you trying to make me a casserole with marshmallows and a can of beer.
It was a legit night tell he threw a snowball in the bar, thats when I knew it was time to go to the next bar.
She made me be the little spoon then she pretended to be a jet pack for an hour straight
I literally used, "MY VAGINA IS TOO FANTASTIC FOR HIM TO STAY GAY" as a valid argument for attempting to fuck my gay friend.
Just had an epiphany about how to drink more effectively in the shower. While walking across campus carrying a Franzia bag like Santa
we got kicked out of the bar last night for sneaking into the back kitchen and eating handfulls of cheese in the walk in fridge
He went to 7/11 first and came back with condoms and a banana "in case we get hungry"
well all i have to say, besides fuck you, is YOU try assembling ikea shelves while high on molly.
It must be love. I'm deleting my porn for him.
I sent my brother over to my ex's to get the rest of my stuff. He comes back SEVEN HOURS LATER, high as fuck without my shit! No loyalty.
She then told me, and I quote "I want to send you nudes just to see how you'd react."
I didn’t say it was classy, I said it was sexy
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