I wish I could rss feed the hooker ads on craigslist because it looks suspicious that I check craigslist every hour.
well I washed the adderal like an idiot. the capsules broke but the beads inside were intact. so my landlady came in and caught me licking the dryer lint screen
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
I faked it too. I just spit on your bed.
I got cut off for calling the flower girl a slut. What are you doing?
Congrats on having the best tasting nipple at the bar last night.
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
Let me shower first- i smell like sex and rock climbing (not so sure how that happened)
Just got a groupon for a segway rental: fireworks segway battle at my house. What say you?
You kept yelling in my face " YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO SUCK A DICK TONIGHT!"
I have an important idea to tell you when I'm sober about a cat scratching my nose once and what it taught me. DONT LET ME FORGET.
I'VE LOST MY DIGNITY, MY PRIDE, AND EVEN MY BOOTY CALL. HAPPY THANKSGIVING.
My autobiography will be 500 pages of the words "I probably should've thought this through" typed over and over.
Had a very good bday. Have the teeth marks and bruises to prove it
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