I woke up this morning to 4 booty call texts. So i am trying to find the sign that says i like to sit on cocks so that i can take it off.
trust me, i wonder where that sign is on a daily basis.
I wish they made sweatshirts for legs
you mean pants?
Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
you started crying about dinosaurs being extinct
that's why i woke up holding that dina girls hand
she's a dina-saur
my mothers day present is going to be not puking at the table during brunch
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
She just sat there, all alone, with a bottle of booze. And the dog. He even looked like he didn't wanna be there with her.
Watched a women out our tannin salon literally fight police because she was getting arrested for trying to drunkenly fight the tanning salon owner...we need to step up our day drinking this is shameful.
Can I just put my face in your boobs and forget the world?
After the Jell-o shots and about 6 shots of lighter fluid brand tequila, it got to the point where breathing was painful. All I could do was pray I didn't fall asleep in the front yard.
I feel like these arent even my fingers anymore
Yeah, tell that to my thumb. Cause it was up my ass all night waiting for you.
Whiskey and tits go great with anything. Especially fire.
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
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