Im going to bring a boy home tonight, and not tell him that I have my period. So when he tries to fuck me, I say no, and look really classy. Then he thinks I'm marriage material. So I give him head.
He jizzed my face. I had to ask for a washcloth. He ran his underwear under the water and handed them to me. Not so romantic.
I love him more than I love myself. Which is a lot...Because I'm narcissistic.
we played lady & the tramp with a hash brown from McDonald's....im in love.
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
please tell me i can get drunk off sparkling grape juice. even if you have to lie, please say yes.
Idk. I woke up marinating in beer on my beanbag. Idk what you mightve done.
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think
She's comparing the feel of breasts to shredded cabbage. Weirdest. Grandmother. Ever.
2 hours later, she made her cat watch the waterfall scene from Homeward Bound to teach her how good she has it here.
So we came to a decision, you need to fuck your hot roommate and send us pictures. We voted, so don't hate the democracy this great country stands for
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
Point in my hangover when I'm honestly not sure if I'm about to puke, or shit my pants.
Randomize
