Well douche your snatch and let's go!
I think scott just propositioned me for sex
I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
Note to self: never do anything I don't want to explain to a paramedic
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
Caught in the act of lying. Lipstick literally all over his dick. He tried to make some story about darkwing duck or some shit but failed to realize he is a complete moron.
Oh my god. He likes it up the butt. But loves womanly support. Omg. Its bad. Its bad. Ive had too much whiskey for this to be ANYthing except bad.
I'm not really made for random hookups.. i'm like a swan.. i don't wanna have random swan sex. i just wanna have one swan hubby and fly around the world together and eat bread that people throw at us..
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
He played with my boobs the whole time we watched Scott Pilgrim and then started invited others to play with them too. It reminded me of how my mom gives out my french fries without asking.
you can't let guys come on your chest and then hog my blanket
Woke up and took my pants off only to realize that I was wearing my shirt from last night as my underwear
I now have a "weirdest thing a guy ever did in bed" story. Cut my fingernails.
Yeah I'm gonna need you to stop it right there.I know this is supposed to be a safe space but Imma have to exit.
Dude on a beach in sicily and a blonde jesus just smoked us out and then tried to makeout with me I am never leaving this place
The guy I slept with in AZ just called and is moving here next week.
Randomize