I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
and then you yelled "out of the way, i'm a lifeguard!" and everyone let us through
1. my parents still have sex. 2. being a screamer runs in the family. 3. so much so that i can tell what number of orgasms she's on. 4.so looks like i'm stuck outside a while
after we had sex he told me his original plan was to have sex with my roommate but his buddy likes her so i was backup
I just remember thinking, if she falls asleep, I'm totally eating that spilled chex mix right off of her.
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
I can't believe you're asking me to think of a sincere, creative way to apologize to your penis at 2 am.
That guy drinking savagely was actually at his buddy's gay bachelor party in the male stripper section. He came over to the chicks side so we drank with him.
He had some sort of penis-related post traumatic stress disorder, but body shots seemed to wake him up
I now have a bottom rung on my kissing scale. Like I can say "Well. On a scale of Matt to Braxton he was probably a Zach." It's the little things.
Ok well i was gonna say you can only borrow my fog machine if you will use it to emerge from your room in a cloud of smoke after having sex with sarah, so yeah we're good
Found another bruise from Saturday #stopliquor2014
You're acting like you didn't chug fireball, like duh you have bruises you drunk betch
He? As in you personified your dick?
When they said they were gonna tattoo each other's gamer tags on their asses, I knew I no longer had a boyfriend.
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