And then she banged "the first Italian rapper"
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
Duuuude. Everything is so brilliant right now. This frosting is freaking orgasmic.
It's vanilla, man. Accept no substitutes. There are so many t's in that word.
Monday: I just need a drink Tuesday: OMG no more this week! Wednesday: oh shit how'd I get drunk Thursday: I'm glad you've stopped the pretenses
My neighbor caught me peeing on his rose bushes at 2 in the morning while wearing my Santa hat. My sex appeal has never been higher.
the cab driver said that we weren't the worst shit show he'd ever seen, CHALLENGE ACCEPTED!!
just remember the most important rule of taking psychedelics: monsters can't get through blankets
I threw up in a pringles can. how do you think my night went.
I've already come to terms that I'm gonna have to bone a few gross librarians, but hey, it's college
Still pimpin that dick in the cornfields. Now it's just transferred to the local bar.
My brother is chasing tequila with vodka. Not sure how it will turn out, but I like his style.
Three times. Three times I left home yesterday in search for sex, and three times I returned un-orgasmed.
you gave me money for the cab and then walked home..
He's teaching me French for free and I'm giving him blowjobs. Win-win.
G&T. Gin and tonic. GIN AND TONIC. GIN AND TONIC AND FUCKING LIME
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