Come to the Burger King. We're waiting for you.
i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
I'm hoping to finish this bottle of wine before I pass out, I don't want the remainder spilling on my white down comforter.
We ended up on a hotel balcony in Daytona where she lured a seagull down with a pizza crust she found in her purse and preceded to grab it out of the air by it's neck.
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
That's not how these arrangements work. You don't buy each other stuff unless you break a sex toy. End of story.
Just got a nosebleed, my period and the runs all at the same time. I'm either dying, or this is the first sign of the apocalypse. You warning you in case it's the latter.
Walking out of the bathroom and not knowing you have hand soap on the front of your pants so it looks like you blew a load on yourself really sets the tone for the rest of the week...
Just took a shower for the sole purpose of getting off without using my hands... I've reached a new level of summer-lazy.
I just trimmed my bush to manageable levels. I'm gonna take a nap and then get in there and finish the job.
We're sitting on the kitchen floor drinking and talking about mounting real light sabers to the dog's head.
Spent like 2 minutes so far learning and 35 minutes in a group chat talking about big asses. Yet another Wed zoom meeting.
Randomize