please come you make the beer taste better
you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
talking dirty on facebook chat is the new phone sex.
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off
Did you leave your blow razor here? I need it for crafts.
I just remembered that he had fake blood all over his face last night. I woke up with it all over my dick. He was 50. Please don't judge me.
Nahh. Maybe not even a handful. It's more like a heaping teaspoon worth of dick.
Of all the shitty people we associated with, you should be happy that I'm the one fucking your cousin. Sorry.
Yeah dude. Pulled out the couch and a bird flew at me. Please tell me who put a bird in my house.
I'll never get why we had to sing the entire full house theme to the cab driver.... never drinking rum again.
But I got head on a boat yesterday which was sweet until a bald eagle flew over. Then it became life affirming.
I don't know. I wanna do you but I also want a cheeseburger.
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
I am so horny that I an legitimately concerned for your safety when I see you tonight.
Randomize
