Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
Would you want me to push you down the stairs OR throw you a baby shower?? Real talk
Saying we were separated at birth, got on a ship and sailed here via onion barrel from Somalia didn't help our case at all....
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
I just remember thinking, if she falls asleep, I'm totally eating that spilled chex mix right off of her.
my nipple ring is gone but someone was nice enough to replace it with a paperclip
Is my lip ring still in your hair?
I'm out of mixers so I am using sugar water. Times are tough.
It's just good to know that when I drink like a twenty year old I still act like one.
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
Is there a greeting card for "I can't keep being The Other Woman"?
Never play truth or dare with a girl who carries a dildo in her purse. I'll never go to a Denny's again.
Roomies told me I showed up to my house alone with no pants on and burrs in my hair... I live in the middle of the city
He lives 20 minutes away driving distance and decided to walk. I talked to him today and he took a nap along the way... In a cemetery.
My ex just brought my grandpa weed. Not sure how I feel about this.
Randomize
