I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
I like waking up with a slight hangover cause I'm dehydrated and it makes me feel thinner.
You can't like Harry Potter and Twilight. You have to pick. Vampires and Wizards are mutually exclusive.
If you stick your dick in my spaghetti, we're fighting.
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
He's having sex with his gf again. Every thump of his bed against the wall is insulting to our one night stand.
She is crazy, dude. She actually bit me on the gootch.
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
Wait also totally unrelated but can horses sit down?
I just tried to picture one and I don't think they can cause I can't envision it
I don't remember anything after falling in the ditch, but I now have confirmation that my rib is broken. Never drinking again.
Update: his apartment is apparently in the campus Christian community center. The fact that I fucked him on the couch in the lobby is officially my crowning life achievement.
Worst wingman u don't do ANYTHING but laugh at my incompitant shyness
All I know is I woke up cuddling a jar of peanut butter....
I had to dust off the condom box before she came over..
YOU WILL GIVE ME MASHED POTATOES OR I WILL RIP YOUR SOUL INTO 7 PIECES AND YOU WILL TURN INTO LORD VOLDEMORT
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