Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
oh so you have enough money for the third eye blind concert but not enough for the morning after pill?
he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
I smelled like jager and penis. The only cure was a pack of camels and plan b.
Who knew that being in a committed relationship is the same thing as forced celibacy? Did not sign up for this.
Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
i just ran into our bio chem professor at the bar. apparently, he doesn't follow the "no slapping your students' asses" rule.
Not gonna lie i was comfortable between the allsups air conditioners while you were talking to the cop.
I'm riding in a wheelchair, being pulled by a golf cart. You need to be here.
Remembering I sold my brand new Blackberry to a stranger for a few pints = Worst night of my life. Now to work out what I did with my shoes.
You force fed me chocolate chips and avocados for 3 hours and kept asking me about my trip to sweden when I was 4.
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
Got caught up in a real life love triangle. Both guys wanted me. I'm tempted to just run off with the cute girl from McDonalds instead
Please do that
She grabbed the other one and started playing tug-o-war against the blonde chick. I told you getting my nipples pierced was a good idea
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
Randomize
