the shit that comes out of a woman's mouth when she knows you can't hit her is fucking unbelieveable
They threw me out of the bar because I was arguing business ethics with the owner of th bar
My student's should feel privledged to see me tuesday after the amount of alcohol I consumed this weekend.
if you don't go out with us, what are you gonna do? you're gonna go home and watch biodome and masturbate to texts from your east coast boyfriend and see the facebook pictures from the party when you wake up.
I guess I puked all over my hand too and I just looked at my roommate and said, "fix this."
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
i watched you ride a mechanical penis. nothing is awkward between us anymore.
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
People are stripping in McDonalds. Do I join?
YES.
have you ever seen all dogs go to heaven this is important
After getting kicked out of the bar, you proceeded to McDonald's, ordered 30 nuggets, slammed them all back in 5 minutes and then stole 3 traffic cones...how you only got charged with drunk in public is beyond me.
Can't beat it when the local bar sends you off with a loaf of bread on the way out the door.
I masterbated to his instagram page. Too far or....?
I've got five complains from the landlord about she being too loud during sex in two weeks I'm marrying her
I'm pretty sure she tried to draw a self portrait out of her vomit. Then you tried to help, but passed out in the vomit.
Randomize
