i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
false alarm. still invincible.
i hope chris hansen doesn't have a boat
Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
my girlfriend just compared my daughters eyes to gollum from lord of the rings.
I just ate a cashew that looked EXACTLY like your dick.
Way too hungover to be taking this many family pictures
it was like vegas minus all of the penis and death threats
Well, my breasts are swollen and I cried about the Iditarod. But I say PMS until proven pregnant.
You asked me what the point was. Told me your were dying alone and then had me take you and Wendy's where you bought 3 meals and ate them in about 10 minutes saying you didn't care if you got fat...
So, got kind of drunk last night, made out with some guy, and somehow stole his credit card. Don't even know.
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
The Stanley Cup Final is killing me. I can't go to work drunk again.
Worst sex ever! He was a talker for sure! I was on top and out of no where he said "Oh you bad bitch?" I stopped and left.
I feel like 20 angels jizzed in my mouth. This cupcake is DELICIOUS!
Randomize
