I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
Well someone named our apartment "the eiffel tower" on facebook check-in so I think they know..
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
Kegstand on crutches, you need to get on my level.
I'm going on a valentine's date with the random guy i hooked up with in the bar bathroom this weekend...i feel like julia roberts
I'll be there soon. I expect Advil and a bucket of kittens when I arrive.
I vaguely remember seeing that couple making out in front of that store and i yelled "I ALSO LOVE THE ROCKY MOUNTAIN SOAP COMPANY!"
you know it was a successful halloween when you wake up and have a firecracker in your tits
HE STARTED HUMMING THE THEME TO STAR WARS!! WHILE I'M SUCKING HIS DICK!!
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
At least Shia Labeouf would encourage me to do this drinking contest
To be clear you just said "I'll give you a baby" as a sext?
you know my pussy doesn't know between good and evil
i made that whipped coffee shit today. took six pouches of instant espresso.
please tell me you didn’t consume six shots of espresso
:)
i can feel colors
Someone made a Christmas song to the Flintstones theme and I'm suing for emotional distress.
Randomize
