Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...
There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
I am so horny I keep driving over the rumble strips... best half hour ever.
i have to go see a new gyno today. he's a male. i just took 3 shots of tequila. its almost like freshman year... drink alcohol, meet a strange man, let him play with my vagina.
you rearended a car with your bike and then puked all over his back windshield. They made BUI's for you.
Very nice. It looks like a Fisher-Price My First Dildo, but still very nice.
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
I need a therapist, but moreover we are going to be really drunk.
I just stuck my fingers down her throat so she could puke. I mean what are friends for
Oh my god she just threw up on her dog
That amazing moment when the girl in the passenger seat decides to strip you while your driving.
I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
Just woke up in my fuck buddies bed with, from the looks of her ass and side boob, a girl that is not my fuck buddy. This should be interesting
Does she know she is talking to people who slam shots of fireball and chase it with vodka?
he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in
So i woke up on a park bench... Using my shoe as a pillow, cuddling a empty handle of vodka... Yet I'm still in my living room. Someone please tell me why all my vodkas gone? I'll deal with the park bench situation at a later time.
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