I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
I left you pizza on the porch. I didn't want to wake you, if you were passed out on the bathroom floor again. Sorry if it's cold.
Want to get together for a boner voyage before you leave?
The office pool is up to $500 if you take a shit in Frank's desk drawer. Time to change the unpaid internship into a cash cow.
like he couldn't stop by and throw me in the back seat and ask for a blowjob? he had to give me flowers?
Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.
Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
I replaced his Viagra pills with sleeping pills.
Welp, I've officially cried in every Chipotle bathroom in the city. Correlation or causation?
She's passed out with a slice of pizza between her boobs should I just eat it and leave
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
I gave Sophia a glitter bomb for Christmas. And before you ask is because she pooped in my cat litter box and then drank all my liquor and didn't pay me back and refuses to acknowledge that she had any wrongdoing. So she gets to clean up glitter for the next 10 years.
I swear I'm an adult. I say as I send my mom to go find me green lucky charms and lady gaga oreos
Randomize
