smoking weed is really the only logical conclusion to hangovers
I woke up with a crunchy, pink Pepto streak through my hair, no recollection of the last 6 hours of my night and the feeling that all the hotel's staff knew me on a first name basis.
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
I just found him singing into an empty paper towel roll while microwaving an empty ice cream carton. I'm gonna run away now.
My wedding band has saved me from at least four cases of herpes tonight.
I go to a class slightly intoxicated and they bring in a baby. What a life.
Maybe I'll just get really drunk on valentines day and tell him I think his penis is small
I remember you licked my face and said that's all you're getting
You are a magnificent human being. I love you from head to toe. This wine is DELICIOUS.
I saw the attitude and didn't even try. Line of the night from one guy who talked with them for a while said, "I don't meet you standards. I have a job and would treat you well." She was blank faced.
Just when I thought I was growing up, I go out and TOTALLY REDEEM MYSELF
sorry I blacked out our whole relationship
I'll be back in a hour going with Jason to get his nipples tattooed back on again
Just paid for birth control in all ones do you think she is judging me?
Randomize