Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
Do NOT cum in me, on me, or in my bed.
I asked my mother if she peed on that chair, she said "not bad" There is no good level of pee on a chair.
You even been so high breaking up weed with your fingers feels like surgery?
I'm not 100% on this, but I'm pretty sure I just accidently talked my way into a threesome.
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
Doing "bucket stands" with buckets of margarita. Don't tell me it's not a good idea.
she was pooping while we were on video chat. new level of love.
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
I thought that wasn't a thing ever since she showed you her vag on the dance floor
Officially conquered sex on my couch with my dad asleep in the next room
I like how you say "conquered" as if that was your sole mission in life
I made everyone scream the national anthem with me after playing true American last night. I'm pretty much their leader now.
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
I mean, I already saw his dick in person and wasn't impressed so why is he sending me a picture of it, anyway? I hate re-runs!
I met my future wife last night. She's a bombshell from Delaware, hates Trump, and humiliated two old men in a GOP healthcare debate while simultaneously convincing them to pick up both of our bar tabs.
Randomize
