is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
Just made a coke joke and literally drooled on myself. How do we feel about pavlov's theory of conditioning now?
You couldn't stand up so I took you home, took off your makeup, put you to bed then shaved off your eyebrows. I so nearly won the responsible adult prize.
When the shrooms kicked in we both simultaneously realized we were not the right puzzle piece for the dubstep puzzle.
We made eye contact and were like we are not welcome here, the ravers are onto us and we need to get the fuck out before we get shuffled upon
Great way to live...just blowing loads on upholstery
When the cops pulled up I just stood flat against the fence with my hands up while yelling out,"I'm a tree!!"...
How frowned upon is it to take your vibrator into the tanning bed...because Operation: dripping wet is in full swing and I have a busy schedule
I'm full of champagne and rage, of course I'm showing up at his house.
When's the best time to point out that all of my orgasms this year have been self-administered? Valentine's day?
I'm a lady who knows what she wants in life, and that's uncommitted dick.
If he comes over I probably get to fuck him and if he doesn't I don't have to pay him the $60 I owe him for weed. It's a win-win situation.
Just packed a snack to eat on the way to McDonald's. That stoned.
i just got carded for condoms. wtf.....this is new. isnt safe sex a good thing?
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
Randomize
