Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
You called information & said "connect me to johnny depp" when they told u it wasn't listed u said " try depp comma johnny he's expecting my call"
he left me a 6 minute video of him peeling a clementine listening to justin bieber
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
Mattress luging...It's a long story.
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
I'm trying to think of how to explain to the dentist tomorrow that I think I pulled my jaw muscle eating pizza while drunk.
Blasting venetian snares and drinking a beer. I love being an adult. It's like being a child but with beer for breakfast, better music, and no one yells at you.
My life is over. I farted in open court. Noticeably. The judge looked at me. It echoed.
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
That's the kind of activity you can only get away with by wearing a lion codpiece
And I'm stuck at home while my dad's in vegas hanging out with Zach gali... Zach... That guy from the hangover
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
She's seen your dick through your pants. You don't need to ask
I still think he’s a fuckboy but he’s nice to me when I’m over.\nLike sets alarms for me in the morning and always makes sure I cum.
Randomize
