that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
I think id rather eat ped egg shavings.
im contemplating emailing my dad and telling him how worthless i am and how sorry i am that he pays for my life...aka my bar tabs.
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
I'm someone's dream girl. I'm hungover in this guy's bed wearing ONLY a Brian Westbrook jersey. Not the same I was on a date with last night.
i dont even feel safe using a push mower...that hungover
I rode on his Vespa around Florence and fucked him in an empty train. It was like a way sluttier version of Lizzy McGuire
asked the cab driver where he learned Swahili last night.
At least you got some premium homework time. Still drinking vodka from a coffee cup?
I switched to water. When the numbers get blurry you are no longer being productive.
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
You blackout rapped the entire DMX song Party Up last night at karaoke without looking at the screen. Then you Tebowed on stage, hugged a black guy, puked in a garbage can, then left. You deserve a medal.
My phone just put together a highlight reel of yesterday's dick pic session, set to music and everything
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
I can’t tonight. I’ve got to see about a penis
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