I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
tell your sister to shave her snatch
good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
you were so high you spent the rest of the night smelling pepper to prove you can sneeze with your eyes open
he was sending me dirty texts but i was watchin nickeloden and couldnt get into it
im ashamed your my cousin
took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.
He lit his shirt on fire at the bar by putting a lit cigarette in the pocket to "save for later."
through my window right now you can see the hot chick next door is standing BUTT ASS NAKED eating peanut butter off a knife.
ill be there in 5.
my 3 favorite things in life are tequila, dicks, and making sandwiches. that DOES NOT make me a bad person.
Three questions... How drunk were you? How long until we can make fun of you for this? Do you even really need a spleen?
I can't wait for paintbang. I'm going to throw a marker at a child. There will be bail money in my backpack in m trunk. Don't use it on beer.
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT
So I just ran in to the Couger you saw me take home last month who i haven't talked to since then at Wawa and she was PISSED.. APPARENTLY i fucked her niece last week
I might be a bit late, couldn't find my pants and had to go to the police station. Unrelated
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