Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
when people say theyve been sober for however many years is that like couple beers not drunk sober, or no drinking sober?
I just accidently deleted 60 gigs of porn from my external hard drive. Thats over 300 pornos! I think im gonna cry.
Im surprised that you are even able to text me right now.
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
i'm pregaming while finishing a paper on cardio myocyte contractility in mice. i'm kicking finals week's ass right now
feelin groggy baby? need a coffee? vitamins? a nice good fuck on the piano?
Her roommate was talking on her cell when I came out of the bedroom and I definitely heard her describe how shitty and terrified I looked. Awesome.
I traded my pants for a Santa hat last night and it was so worth it.
Didn't shower and drew a couple dicks on my face before I went to work. Boss sent me home. Sacrificed my dignity for a 3 day weekend with you guys.
I have a knack for carnage and poetic language.
I am a delicate flower. A fucked up, drunk, horny, pants pissing, delicate little flower.
I can't believe just smoked out of a pear
I can't believe you had a pear already made to smoke out of, that was impressive
sometime during the night he found me in the empty hotttub singing marvins room in only my bra.
Oh, do you remember telling everyone you were with that your vagina was angry last night?
Randomize
