Girls are like M&M's, once the lights go out you can't tell the difference.
There are GROWN MEN with fake HP wands flinging curses at me in Walmart.
That's funny. Are they weird looking???
OF COURSE THEY ARE WEIRD LOOKING, THEY ARE STALKING ME IN WALMART. WITH. FAKE. WANDS.
We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
I think he pocket dials me so much because I'm in his phone as 'Air Mattress'
Exactly. Motivated vaginas are the best kind of vagina
Just saw a midget on an elliptical. Epic.
You know what, don't even answer. Just promise me you'll go to the Corner of Shame when you get home.
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
Dude I asked him to get me beef jerky at 4 am and he actually walked to CVS to get it. CVS closes at 12 but it was the perfect opp to dip out
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
In this house, we have but one simple rule: DONT FUCKIN TOUCH MY STUFF OR I'LL CUT YOUR NECK IN UR SLEEP
Uh oh. Put down the vodka cancel the clowns and get rid of the donkey
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
Randomize
