my mom just walked in on me furiously masturbating while reading twilight. needless to say, im officially out of the closet.
Ever have the mailman look at you like youre a chronic masterbator. I have.
used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
so i woke up in some guy's bed but then i realized i can atone for this tomorrow
I swear to God, I just heard my guardian angel tell us to stop. I think we should listen.
I can't remember much about walking home last night. I think I kicked a dog.
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
We have such limited time together he literally sends me text messages that are like "I sent my roommates on an impossible quest, we have 15 minutes." it's that bad.
Did i tell you that he's legal and i got his number? Because he's legal and i got his number. THIS BITCH AIN'T GOING TO JAIL YET
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
I am so not sober enough to have a 5 minute conversation in Spanish
Well. I think my red tank top is jinxed. this is now the second time it's gotten jizz on it.
He was so traumatized by the It's a small world ride but he immediately pulled out a flask from god-knows-where and got drunk before the ride was over. The ride operator didn't blame him.
I had to explain to the doctor why I'm peeing blood. He still didn't believe a girl would have that much sex... You could feel the judgement forming in the room when I went into the details...
Damn, well a girls gotta get laid too
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
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