He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
I woke up locked in the bar...this has redefined partying.
Next time when I try to seductively eat onion rings while drunk remind me of tonight.
Accidently said "your going to hurt the baby" when he got forceful with his thrusts. I guess I forgot to mention to him that we are pregnant.
I AM OVERLY HIGH AND OVERLY AWARE OF MY TONGUE IN MY MOUTH
Plus I'm on the toilet and I can only describe it as if someone had kicked the cap off of a fire hydrant.
Apparently I stole windex from the cab driver. Klepto Tom strikes again.
I need to shower three times. First to be clean, second to wash off all sins, and third will classify as baptism.
We were having sex in the gardens when the grounds keeper walked up on us. He gave me a thumbs up and walked away
This guy kept trying to use "see? I'm clean. Cleared by the plasma place today." as a pick up line. This is not okay.
The last thing I remember is goading each other into a vodka-chugging competition.
you flipped over the sheets and there was my bed. filled with ding dongs.
Appearently I went across the hall last night demanding to ride my neighbors moose... How much did I drink?
I told him to not try to hang out with me ever again and now I regret it Bc im bleeding through my uterus and just want him to suck on my aching nipples
ugh my stomach is so upset-- didn't get a chance to take a violent enough hangover shit at work
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