I hate ducks.
What?
they're sketch. like squirrels. squirrels are sketch as fuck.
I often get tempted to walk up to her drunk ass and say, "shouldn't you be taking care of your kid?"
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
She's making tacos & sangria tonight. I'm sure that's how the pilgrims pregamed.
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
I've decided I'm either going to ease him into this breakup by having a threesome with him and the girl I'm leaving him for, or be brutal and fuck his room mate. it depends how nice he is tonight.
Fuck a-yeah! I just found a wine key. Let 'Don't Fuck With Me Friday' commence.
We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
IT'S A FUCKING GIANT POKEBALL MAD OUT OF TINY ROSES
I couldn't find pants for like 20 minutes so I was butt ass naked just sitting on your floor
I tried to break it off with the married one. He offered to pay off my car.
The side bitch struggle is real.
What's clit gel and why is it in my wallet.
But can mardi gras accurately capture the essence of my tiny rage?
We decided it was a good idea to go streaking through the campus. Everything was fine until the sprinklers turned on and we realized the keys were in his pocket.
Randomize