I'm trying to bond with my sister... Its like getting to know a person I never met that I don't like
I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
You're such a slut.
I prefer opportunist.
I wonder what it would be like to go to the dry cleaners and not have to inform them that all my clothes are stained with booze.
He keeps the condoms in his bible. I guess stairs or elevator, we're getting to hell one way or another.
He was completely serious when he said my boobs were like "majestic white clouds."
I thought you'd have died of alcohol poisoning years ago! How'd you get my number?
I will not fill you in on the details until we get back, so do not ask. I got peed on by the girl I was hooking up with last night.
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
Professor just informed us that she can't come to class today because her daughter broke her glasses and she can not see where she is going. Am I still drunk from this weekend?
you walked around drinking beer out of a plunger and telling people it was a goblet...
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
I shaved an Xmas tree into my junk.... I placed your present underneath.
Don't come up here. Strippers r crying.
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
Randomize
