What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
her moans were so awkward that i kept asking "what" when she'd say my name...
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
He woke me up at 5am to recite nursery rhymes to our fictitious unborn child.
I was trying to fart in my sleep in the hopes that he would leave
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
I was like, booze is the closest thing I have to a father. Don't pour daddy down the sink
Random one night stand with a guy that had a USA tattoo on his ass. Can't possibly get more American than that
Underoos and an IDGAF attitude: all you need to successfully win at life
(Underoos optional)
I realize my mistake but don't you dare school me in cock, young man
I just borrowed porn from my middle aged mother. This is what desperate looks like.
Why do my weekends always degenerate into using my little brothers childrens board games for drinking games?
You know what i hate? I hate when the ppl you drunkenly made out with actually want to talk to you sober. It just doesn't work that way sir.
Randomize
