dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
I was just walking through Burbank and saw a hobo using solar panels on his shopping cart. We must be in trouble if the hobos are researching alternative sources of fuel...
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
Just woke up in a hotel next to a 38 year old mom who's married... I think Spring Break has started
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
Bouncy castle Catalina wine-mixer race for the cure. It will be as fun as it sounds
Dude, I'm importing a boy from Oklahoma for my divorce party. It's like doctors without borders, but with dicks.
I was pretending that it wasn't happening. Until we had to roll down the windows as she was vomiting apologies into a Target bag.
Found her with a stray dog now called champagne, crying about how she feels a mom now. Had to take her home. The dog too.
Please please please buy brown eye liner on your way home in the morning... I'm missing an eyebrow
The only thing I remember is doing a toddlers and tiaras dance routine onstage. I fucking CURTSIED.
OMG stop. Pretty feet? Sparkle baby!
He just got here and all he's wearing is a cloth over his penis.
I'll uninvite my mom
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
You planned on giving him head in the shower?
More like I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
I would totally suck a dick for some poutine right now
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