Holy shit! This guy had his hands and feet handcuffed and was scooting across the interstate and we almost hit him because it was so dark. I hate Louisiana.
who the fuck tagged pancake nipples on my profile picture?
Seriously, it was like sucking my thumb.. and im not even saying that to be spiteful b/c he is a really nice guy.
Speaking of school, I've done the math and I get laid about 10 times more often than I did before I got my law degree. $100,000 well spent.
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
I truly don't know anything about sober relationships. Normally I would just drunkenly yell "sex?" in a guy's face. What do I do now? Be like, sooo uhhh, wanna do it? Awkward, and even worse, I will remember clearly just how awkward it was.
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
You sprayed lysol all over me. You said that my soberness was infecting your night.
No, I did not fuck him for football tickets. I fucked him for tickets to the superbowl. I'm not that much of a slut.
I felt so bad but my urge to be with you & drunkenly eat your face was apparently much stronger.
I just had a very enlightening conversation with my hat. we need more of whatever the fuck that was.
I got arrested in a leprechaun onesie
It's a shame I've been hooking up with him for 6 months and he still doesn't know my real name.
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