That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
Waiting outside the STD clinic 30 min before it opens already in a line up. It's like were all waiting for a concert that no ones really pumped for
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
Well two things you gotta know if you're gonna live here. your alcohol tolerance is gonna need to go up, and people do blow. Get used to it. Nobody is gonna pressure you into it. That shits expensive
Drank a beer through my butt, how's your initiation going?
Idk, you were a drunk pirate that kept stealing pieces of people's costumes to keep as your booty.
That would explain all the random shit in my room...
Going to jail was so much more fun than I thought it would be. I feel like I walked away with more than just a bomb-ass mugshot, I feel like I made some life long friends.
Celebratory bar crawl?
I have the WORST cramps EVER. I think this is gods way of saying 'you're welcome, last warning. stop being a slut.'
Your cock has been in the back of my throat. Co-worker is no longer a sufficient title. Fix that shit ASAP
I am now "wine pairing" tums flavors with my strongbow, because apparently hard cider gives me heartburn.
When your grandma invites you to a sweet girls' Valentine's dinner with your mom and sister, but you have to decline because you're trying to get two dudes to rail you at once...
I'm hungover and in a fort. And I hate you.
So many questions
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
Randomize
