Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
Why do I feel like I used to feel when I almost got caught looking at porn when I get caught looking at facebook at work
She's mad at me cuz I told her having a fuck buddy was too much commitment.
My mom said she was relieved to see that I'd gained some weight bc she's "always worried" that I might have AIDS.
she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
working out is totally making me break out.. i'm doomed to forever be either a butterface or a butterbod. there is no way out.
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
my neighbors having band practice on sunday morning is a message from the universe that I should stop drinking
I mean, the sex was awesome last weekend, but I didn't even imagine I'd reached ovarian rupture status.
I really want some funfetti cake but I feel like its more socially acceptable to go out and drink
I didn't have cash to pay cover at the bar, so I traded the bouncer a Krispy Kreme doughnut i had in my purse
I can't hangout tonight, I have a phone sex appointment at 10
Those people that talk about exercise endorphins have never experienced a 9x13 pan of mac n cheese endorphins
On a scale of 1 to i should hide, how deep did i dig my grave?
Randomize
