What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
I love him more than I love myself. Which is a lot...Because I'm narcissistic.
im keeping my plan b box as a souvenir of my first halloween weekend in college
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
He started telling people I was Stephen Hawking's son. When that didnt fly he switched to Tony Romo's cousin
When i say that im working late and also have a paper to write before 9am tomorrow all i want u to respond is saying that ur gunna come over and sexually distract me from my responsibilities. Not a fucking frowny face.
Sorry. Im on my way.
yeah that's what i said...you fucked him and peed on his comforter
yeah well...Like any great yacht, I leave a wake
I need a kidney, not a pussy. All the pussy in the world isn't going to save my life. Keep your pussy in your pants and give me a kidney.
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
Best part of leaving the university? Interns are as hot as my former students, not legally off limits, and they will do anything for a full time job.
My boobs just got me out of my third ticket last night
i'm so proud. i woke up to nearly seven feet of basketball player in my bed this morning
you win. again.
my mom snuck into my room, washed her clothes and made her breakfast. what the fuck she's a better boyfriend than I am
He literally stole all the change that was on my floor and ran away while I was peeing. I have to rethink my standards.
Randomize
