Twist it, pull it, flick it... Bop it was like the first time I touched myself.
What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
i just watched kanye west and taylor swift have a chugging contest. why cant halloween be every day
just found my calculator watch from 6th grade. the hipster transformation is complete
You need to come back and get me. This is not a jersey shore party and he is not dressed as Pauly D and I am about one shot away from hooking up with a real fist pumping Guido.
I just woke up in his house on his bathroom floor with an IV in my arm.
He gave me a card that said "I'm so glad we found each other... In the pants" and a pat on the head... My walk of Shame wasn't so bad.
I can dream in two languages, but it's still about ripping a bong.
2 things: 1) can you get hep from toilet water? And 2) do you know where we can get a new skillet for cheap?
Please tell me those aren't related.
I made rice.
I did it on acid. I can cook bacon on any condition
Do not ever get that redhead chem major high. Gave her a magic brownie and she sat in a corner and literally cried about organic chem. Never again.
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
I made a White Russian but saw how early it was and decided to substitute it for milk in my lucky charms. This is what it means to be an adult.
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
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