I forgot how ruthlessly advertising works on me when I'm high.
they bought blue cups instead of red...wtf how am i supposed to pretend im on laguna beach??
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
Noooo. We thought it would be funny for him to wake up buried in the sand. But we just remembered about the whole high tide thing and it's dark and it's pretty damn hard to find an unconscious head sticking out of the sand. Just help us out
He just climbed off me and used my hairspray to fix his hair. If he hadn't just gone down on me I would think he's gay.
Will you judge me if i do shots in my basement closet first? No? Okay good
Passed out drunk in a tanning bed...
Did At The Beach call the fire department to get you like last time?
When everyone ask you tomorrow go ahead and tell them I'm the girl that fell of safe ride and was all bloody.
Nursing home in NJ just got busted for prostitution and drugs...dropping off my deposit tomorrow
Oh okay well are you handling the "just sex part" like a professional hooker like I taught you?
Sorry. Not doing life today. Love to. But can't.
Jesus christ. I put you on speaker when you called me last night and you told me to brush my teeth with a dick.
I'm highly inebriated watching star wars, this text was sent via the force
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
You know you're more responsible when you turn down your bed and make a clear path to it before you go out..
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