Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
Don't freak out about the couches in the driveway. We tried to unpack the uhaul drunk.
If turning my entire backyard into a slip-n-slide is wrong then I don't wanna be right
Im not coming back to that place until im drunk. If I walk in there sober Ill start screaming uncontrollably. Not words, just sounds.
i forgot to brush my teeth before I went over so i went to the bathroom and started eating his toothpaste. we're still in the early stages of fuckdom
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
I need to pull it together. I just cried my eyes out to Master Chef Junior.
YOU DONT EAT A GIRL OUT AND THEN GO PUKE ASSHOLE
I say camping because "let's go get hammered in the woods" sounds kinda fucking weird to be honest.
Ok, maybe playing "whose family is most dysfunctional" wasn't the best drunk idea we've had. Todd''s been crying in the bathroom for an hour. We can't get him out...
I'm watching Netflix with my cats and eating homemade bread. Everyone and everything can go and fuck itself.
Dude. I’m playing chess through iMessage with a stripper. What has my life become.
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
Randomize
