K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
She went to the bathroom before i broke up with her so i changed all 2500 of her songs on her computer to "I'm a cheating whore"
which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
you told that cab driver that when the 3 of us come togehter it means happiness and love
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
Abort mission; I repeat: Abort mission.I found an attractive one.
Maybe I'm nitpicking, but that looked more like how one would jerk off an elephant than it did playing air guitar.
She couldn't understand why my walking in on her 70 year old parents ruined any chance of a boner for at least an hour. I think she's too slow for me to fornicate with.
I helped you wax your vagina and you won't even get me Corn Nuts you fucking bitch?
Just once I'd like to go out and not have to tell you to put your pants back on.
You kissed my hand and then put a Taco in it. Why WOUDNT I leave my husband?
Just to let you know we went to the circus yesterday...in case you didn't remember
I just deff did the walk of shame.. His roommate/manager woke us up. A dog scared me on my stumble to the car.
This is why I'm single.
everything I love is going to destroy me, so if coconuts are the answer, so be it.
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