My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
ppl dont tell me stories about anal. apparently im not a tell-me-stories-about-anal kind of person
imagine if we didn have a dick. we would be so much more productive
I just spent all my babysitting money on red cups and beer.
People still let you watch their kids?
Tell us when you see the semi truck on fire.
You kept making up "snapple facts" every time you opened a beer.
I am at 2.05 miles in under 11 minutes. So either this thing is broke or I should always work out wasted.
I blew him and did charles barkley impressions at the same time. what a pro
The cute guy in my class hurt himself and is on crutches. My first thought was "Good. He'll be easier to take down." Like he's a gazelle and I'm a dick tiger. What's wrong with me?
Then he started caressing my eye brow. Like repetedly. For at least 15 minutes. It was strangely mesmerizing
we were making out in my truck and while she was straddling me she informs me that she jerks off horses for a living. Should I be concerned or flattered?
Can't trust a bar that doesn't have fireball
I'm pretty sure I just smoked a chunk of cat food. Thought it was something else. No reply needed.
Got home & pissed on my moms carpet like a bear in the woods. I woke up to a picture message with me passed out on the floor with my pants down & hands covering my face. I've had an awkward week
things i am: 1) still drunk 2) still wearing my leopard onesie 3) still gonna make my 9am lecture despite the odds CAN I GET A HIGH FIVE
Randomize