He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
I was happy to be the center of attention..until i realized why everyone was staring
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
he rubbed his balls on my face to wake me up.. this friends with benefits thing is getting out of hand.
And then somehow we were arguing over how to fold our arms
im pretty sure your bra is in my room hanging on my shark pinata
We are without power. He took ALL the lightbulbs out and hid them.
Why must everything this weekend have to do with something going into or coming out of my vagina?
He can keep it, but if he asks for anything else i'm just going to start pissing on things.
You put me in such a good mood with that road head, I bought everyone at Hooters donuts.
Are you texting, crying and driving?
And missing part of my eyebrow. Correct that is the description one would give of me at the moment.
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
His ex told me that she wanted me to "take care of" him but from the way she said it I couldn't tell if she wants me to look after him or murder him.
someone stole my phone at the bar last night, naturally, it led to me waking up in the bartender’s bed
I just don't understand why we can't have sex in the house. I'll come see you but I'll have to think about the barn thing.
Randomize
