I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
I haven't worn deodorant in like three days and have been laying around in my underwear listening to music and drinking. I think i've made my own Bonnaroo in my apartment.
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
Yeah but he's impersonating a gargoyle jumping off of everything. Including the walls.
Ohhh. Its been awhile. Vending machine hotel condoms are $15 here who can afford to not get herpes?
She puked her nose ring out of her face.
My pupils are so HUGE you can see into my soul from 2 miles away
What kind of a birthday party isn't a get drunk and ruin everything party
and then I said "oh, I see the price of Plan B has gone up". and the pharmacist looked at me very sadly. I was just trying to make conversation.
He was making a joke about signing my name on this piece of paper. He has a whole bucket filled with names on pieces of paper. I think thats how he keeps count.
I think the highlight of my night is when I was eating a mayonnaise sandwich. drunk me was on point.
Like, yea, let's talk sexy but also...LOOK! I SAW A CAT!
He's UNCIRCUMCISED. And it curves. Two things I've never encountered in all my sluttiness and they're both on the hottest guy alive. :(
I am texting my ex and my future boyfriend while eating fish and chips with my current boyfriend... How and when did I become such a terrible person???
Randomize
