I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
Hello rock bottom. My name is Jared. Nice to meet you.
which gay bar do you need a ride home from?
she told me i tasted like america
I will never try to masturbate with americas funniest home videos playing in the background ever again
On the brightside though, I found the motivation to clean my shower, it was right underneath my need to masturbate in said shower.
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
It's been decided..lingerie is an investment. You get free breakfast and cab rides out of it.
Just did an upsidedown spineboard shot. Gotta love lifeguard parties.
Because at some point last night we decided that shotgunning beers from a paint stick was a good idea
The bachelorette started when I opened the door and they threw a few dozen dildos at me.
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
Oh jesus...leave it to you to hit on not one but two guys who can't fuck you till marriage.
I was telling everyone at the frat that they had to try the "fantastic refreshment" that was everclear, vodka and country time
Holy shit I'm 26! That took an embarrassingly long time to figure it out, I need to keep buyin weed from this kid
I have so much to do, no motivation, and Harry Potter is on. You KNOW whats taking priority in my life right now
Randomize
