She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
I admire a woman who can maintain dignity while puking after too much whiskey
my dad came in to wish me a happy birthday and found me passed out in my underwear with the lights on and a plate of meat on the bed. i bet he was proud to have contributed to my creation in that moment.
If you fuck her, Im going to call you and I want you to cough 2 times.
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
I just won a riveting game of "who can drink the most vodka out of a hollowed out watermelon". Fucking New Yorkers.
Hey, remember when Hot Stuff played in the back of the ambulance? Or no, cause of your concussion...
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
Chris used to fill up a Camel Back for thirsty Thursday. God I really miss him, do you remember when he gets out of jail?
i'm pretty sure you can't sue someone for "Taking a shit on my kitchen floor."
i always handshake my one night stand, im classy like that.
Really I don't care what we're doing or watching. Your penis spends way too much time outside of my body.
It's a family event: you have to drink. No way around it. Its the law.
I've never seen anyone as high as you were.. you collapsed onto the kitchen floor hugging a tub of ice cream. You named it phil.
I may or may not have been feeling patriotic and banged Captain America in a closet. SPOILER ALERT: We broke his shield
Randomize
