Sitting at a red light. Windows are down. I'm blasting Gaga's "Disco Stick" and doing an interpretive dance to it because I think I'm hilarious. Look to the left and see two Phi Delts that I know with their windows down. They are horrified. I am probably going to lose their Facebook friendships.
I'm tuning in to watch Heidi Montag crash and burn on the Miss Universe Pageant. Somebody call 911. and I'm not talking about the Sean Kingston song.
Better skin, bigger boobs.. Birth control is INCREASING my chance of getting pregnant because people actually want to have sex with me now.
I wake up every morning and wish that I didn't have to wear a bra
I understand Curling. That high.
Urine might work for jellyfish stings, but we found out it doesn't work well for nose bleeds...
Some guy stole lobsters by hiding them in his pants. We should strive to be like him.
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
And I can say one thing, I look pretty good in high wasted pants. I don't know if that helps. But I do. God I'm high.
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
I didn't punch him it was just love coming out of my fist
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
Ps. I'm slapping the bag. It's an emergency.
Woke up with a grilled cheese in my hand, it was like god giving me a high five for the night before
He started humming a moment like this when I was taking off his pants.
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