every time i drive by the road she lives on, i scream in the car "i'm sorry i'm sleeping with your boyfriend!" makes me feel less whore-y.
wake up i wanna do it froggy style
if you find a joe biden blowup doll in the attic, I call dibs
ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
I got spanked with a cardboard tube. Apparently he used to be a percussionist. Who favored marching band tunes. It was weird.
Why are you always at the walk in clinic, Lady Chlamydia?
You're not allowed to make that my permanent nickname.
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
When the cops pulled up I just stood flat against the fence with my hands up while yelling out,"I'm a tree!!"...
Apparently I still called the officer "sir" despite the fact I was at a .21 BAC. Southern girls are raised right
You are the best. Or certainly adequate for tempering my unholy desires.
That's the nicest thing you've ever said to me.
And I am bleeding like slutty girl #1 In a horror movie
i fucked his best friend. once right next door to him. i'm pretty sure that could be called sweet revenge.
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
Randomize
