Honestly I wish you never came into my life. I know I don't want you. But I keep trying to get you back bc of the memories
I don't see you I see the memories. All the time
my mom just walked in on me furiously masturbating while reading twilight. needless to say, im officially out of the closet.
Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
The make-up sex just reminded me why we broke up in the first place.
I have left a significant number of teethmarks in my prhone. My mouth tastes like tequila and cheddar. Tomorrow already feels fun.
I found a knife in my bed when I got back this morning. I think one of my roommates has it in for me
All i have left of him are the magnum X-Large condoms he left in my room, knowing full well that no other guy I hook up with will be able to fill his shoes. He taunts me.
well you're talking about the girl who after 4 years, several relationships and several fuck buddies, has yet to have sex in an actual bed
Well I blew a guy I barely know in full view of a homeless camp. That's pretty tame for me.
You took it upon yourself to rid the world of them, and by that I mean you dressed up as Batman and started kicking them in the shins.
You get home ok?
Uh, you stopped by my house at 4 am and woke me up, so yeah.
Sorry you felt insulted last night let me rub your butt in remorse
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
i woke up to a text from someone I put in my phone last night as "Giant Penis"
what did G.P. say?
oddly enough it was a dick pic
i don't care if you are my best friend. does not give you the right to describe how well my sister gives blowjobs.
how about your cousin?
Randomize
