i sold my breathalizer so i could buy weed
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
the doctor brought back painful memories by lecturing me about your teeth marks that are still on my dick.
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
my boobs are worth more now than the blue book value of my car.
Then you better bring Starbucks and a box of condoms in the morning.
Oh shit. This is getting real.
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
I feel like my sexual preferences are just another sign that I am a 75 year old drag queen in a 29 year old woman's body.
I want you more than I want a burrito.
I'm not as filling.
I think I left my thong in your bed. Careful. It has the power to destroy the agitator on a washing machine
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
No my problem is I'm working and its a beautiful Saturday. I should be recovering from a hangover and out golfing. Fuck responsibility. I miss college.
tell him if he brings over dinner you might let him see your left boob...or right, whichever you prefer. But under no circumstances do you let him see both...unless he brings a good desert...like coffee ice cream or something
Randomize
