so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
I had to hold off a girl who was trying to check your pulse while you were passed out. She kept screaming that she was a nursing major and needed to make sure you were alive.
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
That little tingle vodka gives me in my esphagus is what lets me know I'm still alive.
Your boobs are like a big quesadilla marker
And tell the hostess not to worry, she's narcoleptic and fell asleep on the way to the bar, but she'll be fine in a few minutes.
I'm going to pound you from behind over a table at the bar while I pull your hair and call you a whore...please pass along that message to Rob
I wouldn't be too worried. He's been known to chase a chubby before.
THAT IS NOT HOW YOU TALK TO YOUR SISTER
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
Found the cure to anxiety attacks.
An orgasm
I'm sure there are thousands getting dick today in the name of independence
You have not lived until you and a ginger miget chick are jumping and waving your arms in a pitch black bathroom to turn on the motion lights. Yes, today I have officially lived.
Curing hangovers with more alcohol was a great idea for the first five days
i really didnt think i was that drunk last night but the txts from unknwn #s that say i like your lace panties are def telling me otherwise
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