these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
i feel like someone uncorked me like a wine bottle and pulled a living animal outta my arse.
then we talked for a little and he asked my last name which since I have yet to get a fb request I'm 95% sure its for a restraining order
just got high and bedazzled my bra. other than bleeding from the prongs life is so good.
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
im downtown. alone. lost. drunk. dressed as santa. dont find me. i just heard someone say mechanical bull.
the outcome of this sandwich determines whether or not i do anything else with my day..
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
I think I'm still drunk and I think you were in my dream (sadly, it was not a sexual bill murray one).
Its official the day you get back into town we are having a going away to jail party for me. My last wish before prison is to shit faced drunk with you, get into a fist fight, and then cuddle up and fall asleep. Just like old times <3
I gave him head in my cape. On the kitchen floor. Watching a show about bacon.
And the cops are back. At least my pants are on this time
Nxt time we drink that much, we'll have to hide the crayons. Crayola-ing a mural on the living room wall wasnt the brightest idea, but it sure is classy. Right?
All right well I’m making her sugar cookies and sleeping with her husband tonight. Just another manic Monday
Put on my pants to go to work and discovered they had melted.
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