So how come you never look me in the eyes anymore when we make love?
So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
not only did i manage to get kicked out of the bar, i also got kicked out of denny's. i didnt even know that was possible.
i just remebered that we smoked out my hamster yesterday...
i hope hes still alive. i just remember you give him a shit load of cereal and saying "trust me your going to need it"
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
screw it, I'll just be a stripper until next August when then are looking for suitable teachers to teach the future of America. it's like a feel good movie just a little out of order and im a dude.
Also, just almost microwaved cereal. Thank god mom is here to stop me.
What wine did you feed Jack? Might not want to waste the good stuff on kitties. Kitties only get box wine.
Oh god. I finally realized why the coked out Stevie wonder was explaining the concept of movember to the McDonalds clerk. Drunk me didn't process that another month comes after Halloween... It's apparently November.
I don't know, I think having hemorrhoids shows character. You have to be trying pretty hard to get them.
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
I woke up naked with a Jason mask on and a fat lip. What happened last night?
I'm not sure what happened last night but my dog has a red cup taped to his back with a little beer and a ping pong ball in it..
We invented a new game.
Randomize
