Thanks for jumping on that grenade for me last night. You're the best wingman ever
She ate 7 of the 8 slices of pizza. I deserve a purple heart and sex w your sister
I just told this girl who bought a pregnancy test "good luck"
Having dinner with my dad, watching the news and some AIDS prevention ad comes on. My dad then kindly informs me that he doesn't enjoy the feel of condoms.
i think im having one of those erections lasting four or more hours
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
I need to shower. I still have paint on me from the homeless guys
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
Guys, right now i need a picture of a squirrel, preferably with one of you guys but not necessary.
Right, well, that begs the question of where did you get the whip, why are you using it, and why don't you carry one around more often?
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
This guy is clearly nuts his idea of a hangover cure is a six pack poured into a camelpack then hiking 3 miles with a weighted vest. He said "learned it in the army i guess drink beer beat the heat"
He was trying to talk to me about standards while he had a french fry box on his hand like a glove and was using it to flatten his cheeseburger.
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
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